


First Anniversary

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Saturday Night Live
Genre: Anniversaries, Crack, Humor, M/M, Party Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 22:55:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stefon and Seth are very happy together. But Seth isn't too sure about Stefon's plans for their first anniversary party. </p><p>A treat for pansypolaroid for this prompt: "What I'd enjoy: Parties! Stefon's doomed and ambivalent relationship with Anderson Cooper! Seth Meyers realizing Stefon's the best thing to ever happen to him!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Anniversary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pansypolaroid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pansypolaroid/gifts).



“We are NOT inviting your ex to our anniversary party,” Seth objected.

“Ooh, jealousy looks really good on you,” Stefon said.

“I’m serious, I hate that guy!” Seth said.

“Anderson and I are just friends now,” Stefon said, then frowned and added, “Except when he makes passive aggressive comments about my knowledge of current events.”

“See, even you don’t like him,” Seth said.

“Fine. But if I take him off the guest list, I get to add the nudist rollerblading team.”

Seth snorted, “Yeah, because nothing says 21st century like rollerblading,” then added, “Okay, before we got married, I would have directed my sarcasm at the nudity, not the rollerblading.”

“And we still have to decide on the entertainment,” Stefon added.

“I would really like to just have a traditional DJ and leave it at that,” Seth said, resignation in his voice.

Stefon ignored him and said, “We just HAVE to get the PepperDogs to perform.”

“Please tell me the PepperDogs are a band. Any kind of band.”

“The PepperDogs are when men dress up as baboons, and dye their butts red and cut a hole in their pants to show them off, and then they pepper spray one another until they all fall on the ground screaming.”

“Why aren’t they called PepperBaboons?” Seth asked.

“Because they’re artists.”

“Right. I was thinking, that since my parents and grandparents are going to be there, that we could hire entertainment that doesn’t show their asses.”

“Oh! I know. If we want someone to perform at our anniversary party, we should get human pillows!”

“Do I even want to know?”

“They wear soft clothing and lie on the floor, and anyone who’s tired can just lie down and put their head on the human pillow’s shoulder and have a nice nap.”

“That’s… actually a lot less weird than I thought it would be.”

“Also, they eat lots of feathers, and if you punch them, feathers come out of every orifice.”

“Yep, there we go.”

“Not into it? Okay, fine, if you want the best in anniversary party entertainment, let’s try… the New York Dildharmonic.”

“I am positive I am not going to like this,” Seth said.

“It’s when a giant Smurf plays the xylophone while a guy with a can of soup as an earring makes out with a guy doing a hybrid impression of Elvis and Andy Warhol. Plus a guy in a see-through kilt plays a bagpipe made of dildos.”

“Yeah, that maybe sounds fun for a more private party, with just our close friends, but what about all the people at the party who are a little less used to creative performances?” Seth prodded. “How about something more personal – like a slideshow of important moments in our relationship?”

“Like that time on that cruise ship with the soccer ball and the banana pudding?”

“No, not the sex tape. Like our wedding, the day we got together, our first kiss, stuff like that. You know, a celebration of our time together so far.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. I have an editor friend who can put it together and set it to music.”

“That sounds great,” Seth said. “But… what kind of music?”

“Dr. RemixYallZazz specializes in putting giraffe mating calls to a dubstep beat, with an overlay of people screaming when they find rat poop in their beds.”

Seth sighed deeply. “Okay. If that’s what will make you happy.”

Stefon smiled. “Aw, you’re the best husband ever.”

Seth smiled back and leaned in for a kiss. “No, you are.” 

Stefon gave him a dirty smirk. “We should settle this with a sex-off.”

“You want to have a sex contest to see who’s the better husband?”

“Yes, but you’re such a perfect husband I know you’ll let me win.”

“Do I even want to know what winning entails?”

“Yes. You want to know,” Stefon said, voice low.

Seth smiled. “Okay, then. Let the games begin,” he said.

Their party planning could wait another day.


End file.
